Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. [Colossians 3:18-21 NASB]
Please, please, please tell me that this verse is not still being taken out of context to give husbands a "religious" excuse to abuse their wives. The word "subject", which is sometimes translated "submit" was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.... So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, [Ephesians 5:25-29 NASB]
The world perverts the good things of God. The relationship between a man and a woman is not meant to be a dominant/submissive relationship, but is to be built on mutual respect and love. The husband is not meant to be a domineering tyrant, but a sacrificial leader, putting the needs of his wife above his own.
At the same time, the wife is not meant to lord it over her husband, but is to treat him with respect.
In Ephesians, Paul also says,
This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. [Ephesians 5:32 NASB]
Marriage is a model of the relationship between Jesus and the church. Wives ought to be subject to their husbands just as we all are subject to Christ. And just as Jesus loves us all enough to die for us all, so husbands should love their wives.
Similarly, children should be subject to their parents, and parents should love their children. We give our children rules for their own good, such as, "Don't touch the stove, or you might burn your hand."
Even as children are to obey their parents, parents need to make rules that are fair and consistent, teaching our children, and not exasperating them.
Keep in mind the context of this passage. In all of your family relationships, remember the prime motivations. Act out of love. Keep the peace. Do everything in the name of Jesus.
Father, I pray that You will give me grace to be a better spouse and parent. I pray that the love in our family will only grow. Help us to model You.
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