Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. [Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV]
Paul has just exhorted the church to be of one mind, without all the divisions that are evident in the modern church. Now, he is telling us how this can be accomplished.
In a nutshell, the answer is to remove ambition and conceit from our relationships. If pride causes us to doggedly hold on to our dogma, then humility will allow us let it go, and learn from one another.
Paul said, "let each esteem others better than himself." This defines humility. It is not the "Aww shucks" attitude that accompanies false humility. It is a sincere attitude that puts others first.
The twin enemies of humility are ambition and conceit.
Ambition tries to make you look good to others. The obvious example of ambition is in the business environment. The subordinate acts humble and subservient to his boss so that he can get a promotion or a raise. It has an outward appearance of humility before his superiors, but it is false.
Work isn't the only place where ambition is an issue. It's obvious in church politics where people strive for positions of leadership and authority. It's also more subtle; such as when you do anything to influence other people's opinion of you.
For example a church may have two children's ministry volunteers. They are both faithful and kind to the children. They both tell good stories and listen well. One is there because she loves the children and wants to serve them. The other is there because she loves the praise and gratitude of the parents and children. By all outward appearances, they are the same. The difference is in the heart. One is humble, the other is ambitious; not for advancement, but for recognition.
Again, two people are sitting in the church singing a worship song. One is concerned only with worshiping God. The other is concerned about the people around him; whether they appreciate the talent of his singing and admire his voice. Again, there is no outward difference; only in the heart.
Conceit tries to make you feel good about yourself.
Two men give a large donation of money to the church. One is concerned with the advancement of the kingdom of God, and how the money will be used to promote the gospel. The other takes pride in his giving, and knowing that he has contributed much. The money will be use the same, and will have the same result. The only difference is the heart of the giver.
The world says that you should feel good about yourself. Jesus said, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." [Matthew 16:24 NKJV] He isn't promoting self-flagellation. Rather, denying yourself means to esteem others better than yourself.
We are not being told to not take care of ourselves. In fact, we are taught to provide for ourselves and our families. But he also says, "Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."
There is only one way to gain true humility, and that is by walking close to God. It is an act of grace provided by the Holy Spirit.
You can't work up humility by your own efforts. That would be an act of the flesh, and a source of pride. The Pharisees were very proud of their humility.
When I was a young Christian, I was told, "Never pray for humility, because God will make sure you get humbled." What a poor view some people have of God. Humility isn't being humbled and beaten down by circumstances. That may crush your soul, but will not produce true humility. It only comes when, by experience, you see your own spirit in the light of God's Holy Spirit. That only happens by spending time in His presence.
Lord, please forgive my selfishness and ambition. Forgive the false humility that I display to the world. Please draw me closer to you and work in me the fruit of Your Spirit. Work out humility in me; not as one who has been beaten down by circumstance, but as one who has been humbled by the presence of God.
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