Matthew 12:46-50 Family

While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You." But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?"  And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!  For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother." [Matthew 12:46‭-‬50 NASB]

The Catholic church gives much honor to Mary, the mother of Jesus. I agree that she deserves to be honored. As Elizabeth prophesied when filled with the Holy Spirit, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!" [Luke 1:42 NASB] Mary found favor with God, and was blessed. But a line is crossed when honor becomes worship. We are not to bow down to any image, nor are we to pray to anyone but God. "You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you." [John 15:16 NASB]

Jesus' own attitude towards Mary was expressed when He said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" He didn't drop everything and go running to her. She didn't receive any preferential treatment from Him. Nor did the rest of His family.''

After Jesus was born, Mary and Joseph had other children, some of which are named, "“Is not this the carpenter’s son? Is not His mother called Mary, and His brothers, James and Joseph and Simon and Judas? “And His sisters, are they not all with us? Where then did this man get all these things?”" [Matthew 13:55-56 NASB] Jesus went on to say, "A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.”" [Matthew 13:57 NASB] That His own family didn't yet believe in Him is made clear, "For not even His brothers were believing in Him." [John 7:5 NASB] Although James, the brother of Jesus, would eventually go on to be the leader of the Jerusalem church.

Jesus preferred His disciples over His natural family, because His disciples were doing the will of the Father. He wasn't being spiteful, but simply dealt with them according to their choices. Notice that the disciples were inside, while His family waited outside. The disciples were listening, but His family wanted to speak. He was going about His Father's business, but they were interrupting.

Jesus took the opportunity to define spiritual relationships. "Behold My mother and My brothers!  For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother." We have been adopted by the Father, "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”" [Romans 8:15 NASB] If we do the will of the Father, then Jesus calls us "brother" of "sister".

Jesus clarified relationships by His example. He said, "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple." [Luke 14:26 NASB]

Please understand the word "hate" is not used in the way we normally use it. We are to love them all and wish them well. But, if we are to make a choice between Jesus and our own family, we must choose Jesus. If we are to choose between Jesus and our own life, again we must choose Jesus. This doesn't mean we stop caring for our family. Jesus expressed His concern for Mary while on the cross. "When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, "Woman, behold, your son!"  Then He said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother!" From that hour the disciple took her into his own household." [John 19:26‭-‬27 NASB]

We must always put Jesus first in our lives. Before we were married, My wife and I agreed to this priority. Jesus first, spouse second, children third, then church, friends and family. I believe that keeping this priority has made for many happy years of marriage, and is the key to all relationships.