Matthew 5:31-32 Divorce

"It was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce';  but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. [Matthew 5:31‭-‬32 NASB]

This is a hard saying in contemporary society, where so many people are divorced and remarried. Roughly 43% of first marriages in the United States end in divorce. The percentages increase with subsequent remarriages, with 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce.

Within the church, committed Christians (defined as those who attend church regularly) are about 35% less likely to get a divorce, compared to the general population. Of course, it is impossible to get statistics about how many are truly born again, have a sincere relationship with God, and are filled with the Holy Spirit. The best they can do is approximate by the number of people regularly attending a church. Interestingly, those who call themselves Christians but do not regularly attend a church (nominal Christians) are 20% more like to get a divorce than the general population.

What this tells us is that the marriage rate within the church is better than in the world, but even so, more than a quarter of committed church going Christians are getting divorced. About 3 out of every 4 divorcees will remarry.

Be assured that divorce is contrary to the Bible. Jesus taught more about divorce when He was questioned by the Pharisees. He said, "But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." ...And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;  and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery." [Mark 10:6‭-‬12 NASB]

In God's eyes, once you are married, you are always married. Divorce removes you from the marriage legally, but not before God. He considers any further affairs to be adulterous.

The apostle Paul reaffirmed this by saying, "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife." [1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NASB]

So, what should you do if you come to the Lord, and are already divorced and remarried? acknowledge the sin of adultery, confess it to God, and He will forgive you.

If you know the Lord and are married, do not get a divorce. If you believe you have to get a divorce because of an abusive situation, then do so, but remain single. By the way, remaining single excludes cohabiting or having sex outside of marriage.

The best solution for a successful marriage is to put Christ first in the marriage. Make a commitment together to place Jesus first in your life, and each other second. Pray together. Attend a church of like-minded believers where you can be encouraged.

If you are willing to put Jesus first in your relationship, but you have an unbelieving spouse who is not, don't seek a divorce. "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace." [1 Corinthians 7:15 NASB]

The purpose of this teaching isn't to be strict, or to put you under bondage to the "law of divorce", but to emphasize the seriousness of marriage. Marriage is a metaphor of the relationship between Christ and the church. It is a holy thing, and should be treated with reverence.